Colin Kaepernick | San Francisco 49ers (Photo credit: Football Schedule)
Colin Kaepernick’s birth mom – ESPN.
by Luanne
Straight talk from mother and daughter by adoption
About Luanne and Marisha
We are a mother and daughter brought together by adoption, exploring relations in international and transracial adoptive families. Our focus is on the adventures of adoption and explorations in foster care. Marisha is an actor, singer/songwriter, dancer/choreographer, and writer. Luanne is a writer, businesswoman, and educator.
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I’d say the author was more than presumptuous in his assumptions about adoptees who are all individuals with varying needs and desires for contact with their birth families. I’d be curious to know how adoptees feel about this story.
Yeah, I’d like to hear from adoptees about this, too. While I understand Colin might have a complete change of mind later on, isn’t that his decision?
I think it goes to show that every adoption is different, unique from all the personalities involved. We can’t put ourselves in Colin’s shoes, at least I can’t. But I believe closure would benefit all parties involved. But I’m not Colin.
I can’t put myself in his shoes either. It sounds to me like the writer of the article does. Or is that my imagination.
I agree with menomama3. Reilly is assuming that all adoptees feel the same way. I don’t know why Kaepernick feels the way he feels, but I don’t think it’s any of my business, and I certainly don’t think it’s ESPN’s or the nation’s business.
I have found ESPN often likes to take volitale or emotional issues and exploit them as a way to draw readers to itself. Its Ambulance-chasing journalism sometimes. Did CBS ever mention it during the game last night? No. (and they had some time to fill!) You are right, its nobody’s business but Kolin’s.
That’s a fabulous point about why ESPN would publish a story with that slant to it.
That’s what I was thinking. The article sounds so judgmental to me!
I’m going to agree with Robyn and menomama3, this is absolutely Colin’s choice and I think it needs to be respected, not second guessed. I also think it’s pretty slimy to go ahead and interview Russo when Colin has said he has no interest in meeting her. It makes him look heartless and we who’ve adopted understand that the situation is far more complicated.
My own daughter doesn’t really talk about her birthparents but got very anxious when we saw I was a member of a birth parent search group on Yahoo. She also cried for her birthmother not too long ago, but only once and then never again. If she wanted to meet her, I would try to find her, but I’m not about to say, “Gee,honey, I think it would be very healing for you to travel to China and try to find your birthmother.” Notice there is never any talk of meeting birthfathers? That said, I also don’t feel like I owe my daughter’s birthmother anything. I can’t possibly know her motivations in relinquishing her child, though there are patterns in Chinese adoption. It may or may not be healing for her to see the child she couldn’t parent. Either way, I don’t believe it’s my place to decide if my daughter and either of her birthparents should meet. That will be completely up to my daughter.
Thanks so much for giving a personal story example. I think there are actually plenty of adoptees who feel that way–at least for part of their lives. I was thinking how your comment and the others here and my own reaction all are privileging the rights of the adoptee over the birth parent. Are we thinking that way intentionally or are we more “on the side” of the adoptee?
Colin and my daughter, like so many adoptees, had no choice in their adoptions. I think they are owed the choice to meet their birthparents or not. If that puts me on the side of the adoptee, then I’m on the side of the adoptee. Let’s remember, too, that not all birthparents want to meet the children they relinquished, so I think this really has to be up to the “child.”