I FINALLY GOT THE BOOK OFF THE WAITLIST–SEE BELOW!!!
Has anybody read this book? What do you think about the premise of it? The book answers the child’s questions by describing what this mom thinks makes her a real mom.
Described as “After an adoptive mother tells her daughter all the reasons that she is her ‘real mother,’ the young girl realizes that her mother is right, even though they do not look-alike.” Is this a good way to handle this situation?
AT LAST: I GOT THE BOOK IN MY HANDS TO READ IT!!!
I finally got my hands on a copy of You’re Not My REAL Mother!, written by Molly Friedrich and illustrated by Christy Hale. The book begins, as it appeared to do so in the initial portion I saw on amazon.com, with the little girl looking at herself in the mirror and saying, “You know, Mom, you’re not my real mother.” The mother replies: “What do you mean, my darling? Of course I’m your real mother!” The first sentence is a question, wondering what the meaning is behind the child’s question. Without waiting for a response, she rushes headlong into telling her daughter all the reasons that she is her real mother. The message behind her list is that a “real mother” gives day-to-day care and nurturing because she loves the child.
What I like about the book’s structure is that halfway through, the child rephrases her question. She says, “I know you love me, Mom. But why don’t you look like me?” At this point the mother listens to the real question and explains about the child’s birth mother. The illustrations depict a woman who looks like the little girl holding a baby, presumably the child herself.
After an explanation of the birth mother and why the girl’s mom is so grateful to her, which might be all a child so young can handle at this point, the daughter lists all the things, such as “kiss-smothering, cannonball-splashing, trampoline-jumping,” she appreciates about the mother. All this leads up to a declaration that she is truly the girl’s “real mother.”
After reading the whole book, it seems that the book addresses some of the concerns I had from that initial and cursory view. It gives voice to the child for the last half of the book. While the book is fine as one of several books on adoption available to a child who is adopted, the book seems as if it’s designed to reassure the mother more than to investigate the thoughts and feelings of the child.