“Affidavit of Abandonment In Lieu of Birth Certificate”.

It’s not everyday that I read the above title. A few days ago I was cleaning my room and reorganizing my files and I came across a manila mailing envelope that read “Kumar legal documents” in my mother’s handwriting.

“How’d this get into my file?” I thought.

I flipped open the cover flap and pulled out some papers from the adoption agency, which I’d seen before, an old envelope, my social security card application and a few other random papers. I then remembered that a few months earlier my mother’s partner had mentioned that they had found a paper that had the name of my biological parents on it.

I didn’t really believe her, but it sparked my interest and I asked where it was.

Typically they couldn’t find it nor could they remember what they’d done with it. Even though I didn’t really believe the paper existed I felt angry they couldn’t find it. I thought, “how could they lose something that could potentially be so important to me?”

Aggravated, I went upstairs and rummaged, ever so carefully, through all of the adoption related material I knew existed, to no avail. Incredibly frustrated I concluded that it couldn’t exist since I had no memory of it.

Remembering what my mother and her partner had said I looked back at the manila envelope and saw another piece of paper. It was folded and green, like most of the legal documents from the orphanage. I dumped it out onto my desk and unfolded it.

I knew what it was before I even opened it.

Apparently it did exist.

I read the piece of flimsy green paper with blotched black typewritten letters from top to bottom.

“Affidavit of Abandonment In Lieu of Birth Certificate.”

After finishing I found myself returning to two lines from the affidavit that I couldn’t help but re-read over and over.

The first – “a male minor child Kumar now named Kumar Jensen born to Miss Mary, daughter of Mr. Soosai, an unmarried girl was surrendered by her on 02.03.1990.”

A name, at last.

But, wait. Mary?

 

A Stroll Through My Mind

“Affidavit of Abandonment In Lieu of Birth Certificate”.

It’s not everyday that I read the above title. A few days ago I was cleaning my room and reorganizing my files and I came across a manila mailing envelope that read “Kumar legal documents” in my mother’s handwriting.

“How’d this get into my file?” I thought.

I flipped open the cover flap and pulled out some papers from the adoption agency, which I’d seen before, an old envelope, my social security card application and a few other random papers. I then remembered that a few months earlier my mother’s partner had mentioned that they had found a paper that had the name of my biological parents on it.

I didn’t really believe her, but it sparked my interest and I asked where it was.

They couldn’t find it nor could they remember what they’d done with it. Even though I didn’t…

View original post 891 more words

Comments

  1. Hi, Kumar,

    I appreciated your essay about how a single word can mean so much. It is my thought that most moms would prefer not to relinquish, abandon, give away, surrender, etc., their children, but occasionally a mom must do so due to an extreme situation. Although the mystery of “why” does gnaw at one, it may be best to accept that a birth mom who gives up a child most often does so to help and protect the child. If you hope to find Mary, I hope you succeed.

    All the best,

    Wilma

    • Thanks Wilma it is always nice to hear people’s responses. I think I feel similarly that most mothers would not want to be parted from their children, but I chose not to assume since I am not a mother. The question of “why”, in my mind, is more fun to wonder about than it is something that causes me pain or worry.

      Thanks.

  2. Thanks for reblogging my entry. I hope that you found it interesting and would love to hear your reactions.

    • You’re welcome, Kumar. I hope it brings you some extra readers. Your saga certainly deserves to be read. Great post. I felt like I was right there with you when you opened the document and read it. What a powerful experience that must have been. I admit I was surprised at the name Mary and the way you explained it, it made perfect sense. I can’t help but wonder if you will ever do anything more with this knowledge.

      • Thanks a lot! I appreciate it. I, too, wonder if I will do much of anything with that information. Unfortunately, from what I do know it is unlikely that that information about my birth mother is correct, there is some speculation that it was fabricated because they didn’t have any information.

        • Kumar, you are probably right about that. Adoptees in this country have fought for rights to their records for a while now, and it’s great that so many people who were adopted through domestic adoptions are able to search. I think it’s true that in international adoptons a search is less likely to yield results. There are starting to be groups of adoptees banding together to work toward these ends, and i honestly don’t know if there are groups of adoptees from India doing this. Have you searched for or found any groups like this?

  3. Yeah, I have done no searching for groups like that, in fact, I have done so searching of other people adopted from India. Honestly, I’ve never had much of a desire for to attempt to reunion with my biological family. It’s not that I’m not curious it’s that I don’t know why I’d do it.

    • I read a lot of blogs by adoptees and there isn’t as much about India as other countries, although there is a documentary of a female adoptee from India going to India.to search. The name of it escapes me . . . .

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