Smore Stories – The Arena Of Adoption Must Become More “We” Than “I”

Smore Stories – The Arena Of Adoption Must Become More “We” Than “I”.


  1. Yes!

    • After reading the article more closely, I have conflicted feelings about inter-country adoption, which I commented on. I feel that the inter-country adoption dialogue centers primarily on something that will always be controversial, and people either align themselves as for or against it. It’s not such a black or white matter, however. The areas that I hope will change are shifts in focus toward birth mothers, educating young women about sex, abstinence, birth control and reducing the stigma of adoption in the countries where adoption by foreign families is most prevalent. If the stigmatization of adoption and the shame unwed mothers experience were reduced, how much more would that be in the interest of both mother and child? This too is a challenging idea, but one worth fighting for.

      • Marijane, I read your interview last night and noticed that the author of the book (can’t remember her name or the book title right now, but it’s already on its way here from Amazon haha) said her #1 reason for writing the book was to make a political statement about international or inter-country adoption. All the points you bring up are so valid.
        If I play devil’s advocate, I would question who are Americans to put our values on others, such as in trying to change the stigma of adoption in other countries. But that is always a slippery slope because if we’re careful not to try to change others then we can never right any wrongs in the world. So I am with you that those things need to be changed so that more children can stay in the countries and cultures they were born into.

  2. Luanne, I can see that point of view – Americans wanting to impose their values on others. Thank you for helping me to see that. It’s peculiar but after finding my birth family and my adoption document, I have such a different perspective on adoption. Perhaps its all the years of not knowing the truth that have made me a bit cynical towards inter-country adoption, although I do wish the best for adoptive families who have taken that journey! Thanks for your comments- you’ve given me more to think about!

    • That’s understandable, Marijane.Sometimes I think it’s really good to have all the information possible, then realize there are a few cases where children aren’t ready for all the information and think the adoptive parents should hold the information, but what about the cases where APs don’t share the information with their kids when it’s time (“time” meaning different things in different cases)? I can’t figure out what I think is best because there is always a negative side to everything!!

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