Thanks Southwest! (Or, Representation Matters)

What a well-written adoption article.

Holding to the Ground

Woman and man checking out at department storyI have two very different stories of Southwest Airlines. In 2006, one of their employees tried to have us arrested for not having a piece of paper their Customer Service rep told me we didn’t need. (The captain intervened, got the paper, and we went home.) In 2011, they were the only airline that would allow us to change a ticket without a fee. You see, when you adopt, you don’t always know when you have to fly. That makes reservations rather difficult. We were able to book a random flight date on Southwest, the call a CSR and have her flag the tickets as “for adoption.” So, when we called to change that ticket because we had gotten a text message at 6 a.m. saying, “The baby here,” we didn’t have to pay a change fee, or the difference in fare. And when ICPC finally cleared (remind me to…

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The Pendulum Swings – Adoption comes Full Circle

The Goodbye Baby

Hollywood Adoption: Photo found on yahoo.com

When I was adopted at the end of WWII, it was top secret. A stigma, at least in my adoptive parents’ circle, was attached to not being able to give birth to your own children. Adoption was considered a last resort. It was invisible. In large measure because of celebrity adoptions, nowadays adoption has gone public. It is seen as a viable way of forming a family. In sharp contrast to the era during which I was adopted, people who adopt children are more likely to be admired than spurned.

Celebrity adoptions have helped transform attitudes toward adoption. Magazines and newspapers feature photographs of movie stars holding adopted children. Often these little ones were adopted internationally.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, for example, have several children of their own and three from other countries (Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam). Madonna’s tots are from…

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Today I went to a Funeral

Change Sails

Content Note: Suicide

Never in my life would I have ever predicted that I would attend a funeral in Korea. Yet, here I am writing about going to a funeral today that I have nowhere to begin. My heart aches and I feel like I have so much to say, but I’m just so emotionally drained at this point to even write it coherently. I went to an adoptee’s funeral. In the past month alone, six adoptees have taken their lives, one of which was Phillip Clay, a Korean American adoptee. He was deported in 2012 due to his undocumented status. It is important to note that all research shows that adoptees are overrepresented in statistics on mental health issues and suicide. This was not an isolated incident nor the last one. My heart aches because this community is so invisible. We are invisible because we are Asian, we…

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One Less Lonely Girl

Patience, love, and strength–that’s some of what it takes.

Nothing Gilded, Nothing Gained-Author Adrienne Morris

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It’s been a year since our foster girl first pointed out she could kill me with a steak knife–and it wasn’t the last threat on my life. Each time she casually mentioned killing me I casually responded that I had no fear of death and if she wanted to kill people she’d end up in a jail for evil kids who all wanted to kill each other. I said, “Go for it if that sounds like fun.”

It occurred to me today that those threats ended some months ago. She hasn’t picked up string beans off the floor of public restrooms and eaten them in a long time either. My big fear before picking up M last year (the week of the all important county fair) was that I’d find her unattractive. Yes, I’m that shallow. She was cute but a wreck. She was eager to be taken home (by…

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Speak Up for #CitizenshipForAllAdoptees — Red Thread Broken

Originally posted on common ground: The Child Citizenship Act of 2000 (CCA 2000) was passed with the intention of providing automatic U.S. citizenship for international adoptees. It has, however, a serious loophole: its provisions do not apply to adoptees who were 18 year of age or older when it went into effect on February 27,…

via Speak Up for #CitizenshipForAllAdoptees — Red Thread Broken

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